I'm Okay.

The excitement.
Tension, speed, competition.
Everyone is racing for the ball.
Laughter, anger, suspense.
I run for the ball;
we all do.
For a second, I'm laughing.
Then.. darkness.
I hear nothing
but the sound of my beating heart.
I open my eyes and say,
"I'm okay."
I try to stand,
but my head is pounding.
As everyone continues the game,
I walk away to sit.
I see you,
acting as if nothing happened.
My heart is pounding,
my head aches.
I'm checked for cuts...
none.
I'm questioned how I got up so fast...
strength.
I have so much of it.
I feel my head,
it's as if I'm growing another.
My eyes water when I realize,
I couldn't move my arm.
It hit my nerve.
But, I'm okay.
I think back,
you fell on me!
Then it was dark,
I blacked out!
The fear, the pain.
Every inch of my body,
The fear, the pain.
But, I'm okay.
My friends are more angry
then I actually am.
My head was pounding;
faster than my heart.
My speech was blurred,
But I remained optimistic.
I held back my tears.
I'm okay. I'm okay.

Recovery

there's a special kind of pain that you feel when you're heartbroken. you literally feel your heart pumping more blood, the tears as hot as fire as they run down your cheek. Just the sense of loss. but later on, you realized that all of that pain wasn't worth it...at all. Just the concept of growing in life. You may get your downfalls; and sure, you'll cry; but you'd always pick yourself back up again and learn.

Pain

Here I go again,
I'm going insane,
I feel like I'm dying,
And I've never been lying.
Struck by a needle,
I'm stuck in the middle,
Of this overwhelming pain,
Of regret and shame.
Trust pushed aside,
This hurt does abide,
Outside, I'm alive,
Inside, well, goodbye.
I cry at night,
In plain sight,
For the different kinds of pain,
That, everyday, drive me insane.
I'm not crying for you,
I'm pissed off my mind too.
And at the same time,
I realize what's mine.
That pain, it gets to me,
Everyday, it gets to me.
It's not something I can say bye to,
Although as much as I want to.
I try to deny it,
And not follow it.
I'll say this with no lie,
I don't want to die.
I dream of it every night,
The pictures won't come out of sight.
I know it's for a purpose,
But this pain isn't harmless.
I just want it to end,
And a new voice, I will lend.
I want to change the world,
And not be shut down by my own self.

Lucky

Some of us forget how lucky we are. We live everyday like it's nothing. Some of us waste our lives on pointless things such as smoking, partying, drinking; and that's when the devil gets to you. He find your weakest stance and charges after your life. When that happens, you're bounded to just let it go. But it's not good to do that. The devil can take your life. Just think about it. How many times have you witnessed near-death experiences whether it was you or someone else? That's surely isn't God doing that.. and how many times have you thought about suicide? That's not good, either. You were put through that tough time so you could run to God and he'll make it better. I'm not trying to evangelize you, I'm just saying that you should treat your life with more respect, whether you believe in God or not. We all know it's a gift, and it should not be taken for granted. I could of been dead years ago, I would of even been hit by a car two years ago. But I didn't. I'm still here. Even though people would think my life sucks, I remain optimistic. Why? Because I was meant to go through this. I was put on this Earth for a reason, and so where you. My dream is to change how teenagers are viewed today. I wish I could change the abuse of alcohol, drugs, smoking, and other things in teens. It's just so annoying to go around and have other people think you're such a bad person JUST because you're a teenager. If those stupid teens could actually doing something better with their lives then maybe it could change the world. This is why I'm in rebellion, I'm part of a resistance. Sin is normal in modern day, and you have to take a stand to prove that you are different, and you don't follow what is normal today. I'm a rebel, because Jesus was a rebel. As I said, I'm not trying to preach anything to you. Just think about how lucky your life is. No matter what circumstances you're in, you're still here, and you're meant to be.


Give Me Your Eyes- Brandon Heath

In His Name

He was only five years old
and if only they knew that
It was their love that held him together.
But he learned to live on his own
Without any time with his dad.
It's his childhood that stayed forever

And now as he's older
He's torn and needs a shoulder
How can people so blind, not see?

If you never had broken apart,
Then he wouldn't be hurt in his heart;
Sudden heartbreak, depression, he's anxious,
To find healing in his name.
You'll never get to see his first love,
Because your mistakes have taken hold.
You regret now, wanting to make up
Those six years now down the drain.

He fell in love with a girl his age,
She was sweet and perfect.
He claimed she was the one for him.
It was her picture on the wall,
and her denial that made him fall.
After hurt, he reflected on your shame.

And now as he's broken,
It's your rain that he is soaked in.
How can a heart so shattered be healed?

If you never had broken apart,

Then he wouldn't be hurt in his heart;

Sudden heartbreak, depression, he's anxious,

To find healing in his name.

You'll never get to see his first love,

Because your mistakes have taken hold.

You regret now, wanting to make up

Those six years now down the drain.

Things are much harder now, darling.

It's a new pain every week.

Trying to challenge time,

Yet you've got a future planned out perfectly.

Just stay strong through it all.

You were meant to go through this,

Only to find something greater in His name.

If you never had broken apart,

Then he wouldn't be hurt in his heart;

Sudden heartbreak, depression, he's anxious,

To find healing in his name.

You'll never get to see his first love,

Because your mistakes have taken hold.

You regret now, wanting to make up

Those six years now down the drain.

The Star

My dad is the star

I look up to at night.

Was scowled in a bar,

But I saw the light.

06` was a pacer,

Placed deep in his heart.

Beer was the racer.

The light has now start.

My dad is a sinner,

Would not go to church.

Financially no winner,

But there was a torch.

One night my dad told me,

“Look up towards Mars.”

And there I could see

Big Dipper and stars.

My dad is a bear,

Strong and yet huggable.

Dying’s a fear,

But he’s indescribable.

My dad is a drinker.

So my mom would yell.

Their marriage a sinker,

I could already tell.

But I held my faith,

And prayed every night.

So far they’re so great,

I am a star light.

Reality

Reality.
It's something we all have to think about.
Who am I?
What do I believe in?
All questions we must ask ourselves.

Reality.
You've been told about death but don't believe it.
Is it true?
Are you gone?
It seems as if you are still here.

Reality.
You jumped out of a window.
Why did you do it?
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were feeling so hurt.

Reality.
It was five in the morning.
Did she call the police?
Did you talk to God?
I hope you're in the right place right now.

Reality.
God will always be there for you.
Did you lose faith?

Did you follow Satan?
I hope with all my heart you didn't.

Reality.
We are all hurting inside.
Would we miss you?
We surely do now.
And we all wish you were here.

RIP Joel, my beloved cousin.

Footprints in the Sand

I like going to the beach with the family, but sometimes I just feel like going alone. Watching twilight sweep over the horizon as the sun sets and walking along the shoreline has a strong feeling behind it. Looking back at the footprints left in the sand made me feel lucky. People say that if you see footprints in the sand then that means God walked with you through your tough times. Sure, I made these footprints, but it still had the same feeling. Nothing could be worse than being heartbroken by mistake. It takes weeks and even months to recover. But once you realize you have God with you always, things tend to change for the better. Footprints in the sand; God will always walk with you. The next person to walk by the shoreline after me and see these footprints would surely be blessed. A blessing flows from one person to another once it’s spread the correct way.
Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

REALIZATION

Almost everything here is about love o_o
You know what?
I'm writing about nature next.

We Were So in Love..

Everyday, I remember
Each memory we shared.
The smiles, the laughter.
The pain & the tears.
Our very first kiss,
was all tears of joy.
We were so in love,
But that's all down the drain.

When we were alone,
it was laughter & kisses
When we were with friends,
It was all fun & secrets.
Devastation, pain,
You helped through it all.
We were so in love,
But that's all down the drain.

I swear, I think,
You had fallen apart.
Once you had asked me,
"Alone to church, huh?"
Everyday, I hoped,
I wasn't mistaken.
We were so in love,
But that's all down the drain.

Really? Are you serious?
It was only you,
So what? I'm religious,
I love God too.
We would of talked it out,
But no chance was given.
We were so in love,
But that's all down the drain.

Now when we talk,
I can see it in your eyes,
You're so very sorry,
But now it's too late.
How do I know,
You won't leave the next day?
We were so in love,
But that's all down the drain.

It's you that I miss,
But I don't want you back.
I love you still,
But I try to forget.
A month has passed,
Since you first let go.
We were so in love,
And now it's all down the drain.

Dear Child, (Draft)

Close your eyes, child, and take a deep breath.

 Breathe out hurt and breathe in faith.

God is near and he can hear,

Let it out, but don't shed a tear.

The first’s truly the worst but you’ll survive.

A learning experience is all there is to it.

Anger can be discussed,

It could change to agreement.

Say goodbye, and hello again,

Soon you’ll realize there is no end.

Move on, you’ve got more to life,

He isn’t worth your precious self.

You may say “this is not the end.”

But believe me, child, end is near.

Promise me, you will let go,

Too much hurt is unbearable.

I once was like you,

Fallen then shattered,

But God had helped me,

I picked up faith again.

So listen to my words,

 And pray every night,

Hold on to happiness,

Save sadness for death.

There’s a light when you see darkness.

There’s healingfFrom heartbreak;

A great hope in devastation,

It’s God’s Love that’ll heal your pain.

And I Wonder

This is the story of true love
Even though he doesn't feel the same way
Story of my love,
and if only if he feels my pain.

These memories are haunting me
Can't stop myself from loving you.
Are you glad that we are finally though?
And all the times that we have held each other..
Now I wonder..

(Chorus)
Are you home alone?
'Cause I really wanna know.
Are you ever coming back to me?
I know you don't understand, but
I can take you hand,
And we can go anywhere you please.

I know you don't have trust in me,
But I have held my trust in you.
I know you don't believe in we (anymore)
But all I really need is you,
You're driving me crazy.

Listen to what I have to say,
You have really got to know,
That I have held my faith in you,
and all You did was let me go,
and I wonder..

(Chorus)

Are you home alone?

'Cause I really wanna know.

Are you ever coming back to me?

I know you don't understand, but

I can take you hand,

And we can go anywhere you please.

(Bridge) >Played as vocal behind third chorus<

Are you home alone?

I've really got to know,

Are you coming back to me?

This is the story of true love,

Even though he doesn't feel the same way.

Our Love (Unfinished)

Our love's like sunflower seeds
We grow & grow (we're everlasting)
Our love's like moonlight on some
shining snow (it's beautiful)
Our love is way more
than I ever have imagined
But you make me see it all through our love.

You're all that I see
You're all that I breathe
& I keep thinking that
we were meant to be.
And if you can't see,
then listen to me.

You're the start of my day
But there's no end.
You're my soul mate
and you're my best friend.

It's out love that keeps us together.
We'll be together now till forever.
You know that I need you and you need me,
But if you think that it's too late to see..
Then there isn't much for me to do.
Except to try and prove to you
That's it's everything we do that hides the truth.

God is There

Her boyfriend,

he never showed

Up to her door anymore

They used to sneak out late

Dark cold hours, daddy wasn't home.

Her mother, far away, gone.

Her father came home at dawn

By then she left the house,

Ready to be picked on at school

(bridge)

She hid her face

Wanted to hide

But she couldn't

She thought she'd die 

That's when he came up, and said hold on. God is there so hold on to faith..

(chorus)

He'll be there,

Don't let go,

Your faith is all that you have to find,

It's enough

To survive

Even when there's no place to go.

(bridge + chorus over again)

Someone told me, "if you never feel at home, you should sit down, pray and free your mind to roam. God is always there, he'd even in your heart; you can talk to him, he'd listen," and she said:

because he came up,

and said hold on,

God has been with me all the time

He is there

Won't let go,

Faith was all that I had to find.

Was enough

To survive

I have found somewhere that I had to go.

I hid my face

Wanted to hide

But I couldn't

I thought I'd die

God is there for me all the time, (2x